Dreams About Boyfriends,
Girlfriends, and Ex-es
BACK WITH EX GIRLFRIEND:
I see me and my ex girlfriend living together again, though we haven't seen each other for many years. A thought occurred to me in the dream, “Be careful what you wish for.”
FELT HOW: Felt nice.
MAIN LIFE ISSUES: Relationships, being single.
STORY LINE: Someone finds themselves close to someone they care about.
Ex girlfriend: Symbol of someone who loved you.
Living together: Getting close to someone; a close relationship.
Haven’t seen each other for years: Emotional distance, bridging gap.
A thought, thinking in dream: A metaphor to note something, to pay attention.
Be Careful: Sensing things are not as they seem; a need for caution.
Words, “Be careful what you wish for”: Instructions to self to examine goals, what is desired; re-examine relationship needs.
WHAT IT MEANS:
The dream is not about getting back with your old girlfriend. It is likely a heads up that you will cross paths with someone who makes you feel good, as your previous girlfriend did, and will be someone you can have a relationship with.
BOTTOM LINE: A new girlfriend is in your future.
MY BOYFRIEND ARGUES WITH HIS EX:
My boyfriend and I were standing together. His ex girlfriend, who is the mother of his children, comes up to him and starts an argument. I couldn’t understand what she was saying but all he did was stare at her without saying a word. She kept on ranting for a while.
FELT HOW: Shocked.
MAIN LIFE ISSUES: Romance, money.
STORY LINE: Someone watches as a loved one is ambushed and does not defend self.
Mother of his daughter: A person with previous ties, has a prior hold.
Argument: Difference in point of view.
Ranting: Overdoing an aggressive communication.
Staring: Not reacting, not mobilizing strengths.
WHAT IT MEANS:
A dream can show an actual relationship dynamic, but the question is whether the dream message is for your boyfriend or for you. Most dreams are about you.
The dream points out that someone needs encouragement to stand up to others or to particular people like family members, bosses or associates. If the dream is for you, it invites you to assert yourself constructively, even if someone is mean or overly aggressive. Learn to defend yourself yet respond in ways that build bridges and not close doors.
BOTTOM LINE: The dream appears to be a hint for someone to assert themselves, whether you or someone around you. Though dreams can be about loved ones , most dreams are about you. The dream highlights a need to stand up for self and set boundaries with others.
BOYFRIEND HAS TWO SIDES:
I'm having disturbing dreams about my boyfriend. In one dream it was night and he was holding a gun to my side while we sat in a car. I wasn't afraid; as I turned to the back seat, I saw a bouquet of poinsettias. Recently I dreamed his grandmother told me he had been shot in his arm. In another dream, we were sitting at a table surrounded by guys. Two of them verbally attacked me while he watched and said nothing. I did stand up for myself but as I watched him across the table, I felt like they were doing his bidding. I feel his resentment and anger in these dreams.
On the other hand, a while ago I dreamed of a little boy bathed in white like an angel; we talked, he was excited. My boyfriend walked up to the little boy and told him to watch it because I was "his soul mate".
FELT HOW: Did not feel scared.
LIFE ISSUES: Stress. He resentments me working so much. I resent it too, we don't spend time together at all anymore. Also, he’s 21, I’m 27.
STORY LINE: Someone is under attack and knows it but does nothing about it.
SYMBOL: Pointed Gun: Being threatened, at receiving end of potential violence
WHAT IT MEANS:
Most of the scenes describe scenes of anger, violence and resentment which you ascribe to your boyfriend’s actual feelings. Dreams can exaggerate, so the violence could be about verbal fights and abuse, or something more. The dreams tell you the relationship is not going anywhere and it’s a matter of time before it ends, for those reasons, and with the age difference, he may be young for you. I suspect you already sense it’s not a long term relationship.
The boy as angel in the dream hints like another man could enter your life if you move on, who would be a “good guy.” It also suggests that jealousy may be an issue with current boyfriend which can be a recipe for domestic violence. The dream brings up the question of whether you can see the big picture and have enough self esteem, to move along.
It sounds as if your career is important to you and that you’d be more comfortable with someone who supports that, and who also has a challenging and demanding career.
BOTTOM LINE: These recurring dreams say these are important issues that you need to deal with.
BACK WITH EX BOYFRIEND:
In the last three dreams I had, in each dream, my ex-boyfriend and I got back together and were all lovey dovey. Our love and feelings for each other seemed stronger than they actually were, which was odd.I don't like having these dreams, they make me think of him and give me false hope. I'm trying to figure out why I have these dreams and why in the dream we get back together and love each other so much. I've been doing well without him and these dreams make me sad.
FELT HOW: Happy but sad and confused.
MAIN LIFE ISSUES: Feel lonely at times. I broke up with my boyfriend four months ago, we were together for a year and five months. We were really close and loved each other very much, at least I thought so. It was hard for a while and took time for my heart to heal. The break up was very sudden and out of the blue. That's what really hurt.
STORY LINE: Someone acts inappropriately, acknowledges it and prepares to accept the consequences.
SYMBOL: Ex-boyfriend: Can be actual ex, a new man, or a symbol of new strength.
WHAT IT MEANS:
The dreams are not about your ex boyfriend; they are about you and your own emotional development.
There can be several reasons why you keep having these dreams. One is that your dreams may be pointing to someone new who will enter your life who you will love more than the ex. Another possibility is that although you say you have moved on in your head, your feelings still hang on to him, so that you have not yet let go of him at an emotional level. If that is the case, you need to get honest with yourself and let the feelings go.
The dreams are trying to help you digest feelings about him and that experience, and remind you that although there was some love, it’s time to move on.
The ex may also be a symbol of your own strength and getting together with him tells you: “Look how strong I am, I love my myself and my new empowerment.” Loving yourself and having good self esteem and new sense of empowerment is a good thing, perhaps reflecting more confidence than you had before.
BOTTOM LINE: Dreams are a process of growth, in this case, of digesting the past and learning from it so that you can do better in the future, as in, choosing more wisely. These dreams show your growth, and may also predict a new man coming your way, who loves you a lot more than the ex.
HUSBAND'S EX GIRLFRIEND:
I am walking with my husband and we run into his ex-girlfriend and her sister; we all stop. The sister is pushing a baby stroller but the baby is walking. The baby reaches up to be picked up; my husband reaches down to pick up the baby but she doesn't want to go to him. When I reach for the baby, she jumps into my arms and feels as light as air. My husband walks off a little and his ex tries to play with his hands and put her butt all over him. I look on in amazement with my mouth open and couldn't speak.
FELT HOW: Shocked, confused.
MAIN LIFE ISSUES: Not knowing whether I still want to be with my husband.
Something vulnerable (the baby) seeks solace and finds it.
Someone watches as the one who should be committed to them exposes themselves to someone who would take them away and lets themselves be distracted.
Baby: A long term commitment, responsibility.
Meeting Husband’s Ex Girlfriend: Meeting a rival, a competitor.
Empty baby stroller: Something vulnerable is attended to.
Baby reaches to be picked up: A vulnerable one seeks solace.
Baby walks even though could ride: Standing on one’s own feet.
Baby refuses to go to husband: Sensing false love, a sham.
Husband walks off with ex girlfriend: Giving in to temptation.
Baby feels as light as air: Something one can easily handle.
WHAT IT MEANS:
There are two stories in this dream. One is a about a baby that wants attention and receives it. The baby may represent you, who feels vulnerable and seeks solace about the marriage. Since you hold and carry the baby, not your husband, the dream hints you may have to look after yourself and take charge of your life, rather than expect your husband to do so. Taking the baby may be a metaphor for going your own way and making a fresh start.
The second part of the dream shows how someone strays and is distracted from his commitment. Dreams show how things really are; this one suggests he is either straying or flirts too much, which is an insult and demeaning to you.
BOTTOM LINE: The dream shows there are issues with your husband’s fidelity. Watching in shock won’t do; you need to assert yourself and draw the line wherever it feels best.
TALK WITH EX’S MOTHER:
I dreamed about my ex-boyfriend and his mom. In the dream I dial my ex’s phone number but his mom answers and tells me the phone is hers and not to call again. She says she let him borrow her phone and people were playing on it. I apologize and say I was checking on him and his daughter. She tells me the daughter is well and will say hello from me. She also says her son is miserable in his current relationship and she doesn't approve of the girl he's with. I say, “I don't know how to respond to that.”
FELT HOW: I loved my ex.
MAIN LIFE ISSUES: Being very independent
STORY LINE: Someone is desperate to make a connection and gets an indirect one but it does not get them what they want.
Ex Boyfriend’s mother: Someone connected to who you loved.
Dial Ex boyfriend’s phone: Trying to reconnect with the past.
Not ex’s phone: Someone is on the wrong track.
Says not to call again: A message one’s behavior is inappropriate.
Only checking on him: Making an excuse for behavior.
Saying “I don’t know how to respond”: Groping for self-understanding; wanting to hold on; unwilling to let go.
WHAT IT MEANS:
The dream is about you, not your boyfriend, and the fact that you want him even though the relationship is over. It shows you’d like to think he’d be unhappy with anyone else. However, the mother’s words not to call again tells you the relationship is over. When a relationship is over, it’s over; the only way to respond is to let go.
Bottom Line: The dream invites you to look at how you hold on to the past instead of creating a future that could bring happiness. If it feels like he’s the only man in the world for you, you may need guidance from a counselor. Find help that empowers you to move on so you can get the love you deserve from someone who will be happy to have you.
My ex girlfriend of six years from a relationship that ended two years ago, was talking and interacting with me through the face and body of another ex girlfriend who was a high school sweetheart from years ago. I was trying to spend time with her and maybe get back together, but because both ex-es were fused together, I did not know which one I was actually talking to.
FELT HOW: Confused.
MAIN LIFE ISSUES: Life is my issue.
STORY LINE: Choosing one from many of the same items such as ex-girlfriends, indicates an issue that needs to be sorted out and clarified.
Ex girlfriend: Someone meaningful from the past.
Talking through face of another: Not clear who someone is.
Spending time with an ex: Reconnecting to the past.
Maybe get back together: Searching for what brings commitment.
Two ex-es fused together: The past as a blur; a need to sort out the past.
Choosing one from among many: In a dream, choosing from similar items indicates a need to sort out what is important before choosing.
WHAT THE DREAM MEANS: The dream invites you to review your relationships, past and present, and rethink what you need and want in a relationship. It says you are not ready for a relationship until you figure out how to avoid past mistakes and take responsibility for what you want and what you are creating, e.g., playing around versus a sincere, committed relationship.
BOTTOM LINE: To create a relationship that works, figure out what you want and learn from the past. Both may be a clue to important qualities that you need or are looking for.
MAKING PLANS WITH MY BOYFRIEND:
I had a dream last night about me and my boyfriend of many years. We were not expecting a baby but decided that we would name our future daughter Elizabeth, after my great grandmother. It was such a real feeling, we were even saying we could call her El, or Elly, for short. But in the dream, I wasn't pregnant and am not pregnant now. So, I don't feel it’s a pregnancy dream, but feels like it has meaning.
FELT HOW: Happy
MAIN LIFE ISSUES: Money
STORY LINE: A couple makes plans about something they both love and enjoy.
A Baby: A long term commitment or responsibility.
Great grandmother: A link to your heritage, roots. As a symbol, this suggests that your heritage or roots may be helpful in career, or, if honored more in some way, could be helpful to your life.
Great grandmother's name, Elizabeth: The name may have significant memories for you, as the dreamer. Figure out whether someone with that name (grandmother or others) have special talents or qualities. Since money is an issue, see whether you might have those same talents or qualities, that could be applied toward a career or earnings in some way.
Picking a baby name: Making plans related to a new, long term, joyful responsibility.
What it Means: It is said you pre-dream everything of importance that happens to you, so who knows - a child may yet be in your future.
However, if having a child is not on your agenda for you, the baby in the dream may refer to a new long term responsibility that one or both of you may soon take. That could be a new job or career track, starting your own business, a hobby or interest, or a community activity that means a lot to both of you.
BOTTOM LINE: Since money is a current major issue, the dream may be a hint that careers (one of both of your careers) will stabilize and that finances will improve, allowing you to make happy plans together for the future.
RECURRING DREAMS ABOUT MY EX:
I've been having a recurring dream the past year; it 's always the same. I run into my ex and we end up spending lots of time together. He wants to get back together but I’m now dating my current boyfriend. In the dream I still have feelings for my ex and am tempted but hesitate because I love my current boyfriend and don’t want to cheat on him or hurt him. In the dream I am really torn.
FELT HOW: Torn; really felt love for my ex.
LIFE ISSUES: I have no contact with my ex; we were a couple on and off for two years. I’ve been with my current boyfriend for four years though it feels as if he has become a little distant of late and working a lot.
STORY LINE: Someone keeps experiencing the old and is torn between old and new.
Running into Ex: What pops up unexpectedly; in this case, likely a metaphor for thoughts that are popping up in your head about current relationship and what you should do about it.
Old boyfriend: Actual person or the traits of the ex are being highlighted.
Current boyfriend: Actual person and a comparison with the ex.
Feeling Torn between two men: Suggests you are having second thoughts about current relationship. It does not mean you'll get back with ex; it shows you have to decide what you want in a relationship.
WHAT IT MEANS:
When "two of a kind or more" appear in a dream and it is hard to choose between them, the dream is about a choice you are trying to make. You may have been wondering why your current boyfriend is distant these days, and your mind turns that into a question and gives you insight into your question. Or, because he is becoming distant in real life, you may have thoughts of what life was like before you met your current love. Or the dream may bring up whether you are feeling torn about the life you have with your current boyfriend and the kind of life you would really want? The old and the new boyfriends may represent your values and the dream invites you to evaluate what you really want.
Plus, you say your current boyfriend is distant and working a lot. Ahhh... those can be signs that he wants a new direction and is doing who knows what ... that you may not know about, and your dream may be picking up on that.
BOTTOM LINE: Decide what you want; that can include a truthful talk with your boyfriend to get things out in the open, and make sure you're both on the same page.
DEAD EX HUGS ME:
In a dream last night I found myself sitting on the lap of someone I once loved and who loved me, even though we did not have a relationship. I was facing him as he held me in a soft, tender embrace with his long hair all around me as he nuzzled my ear. The passion and gentleness was beyond words and felt so real, there was a genuine soul connection. No words were spoken, only a transfer of emotions.
When I woke up I went to the computer to contact him on Facebook but when I typed his name into the search engine the first thing that appeared was his obituary. He had died six months ago, though it felt he was right with me and that feeling has not ended.
FELT HOW: Safe, loved and completed.
MAIN LIFE ISSUES: The ex suitor in my dream was once my coworker. We had a huge crush on each other years back, but nothing came of it because my boyfriend at the time was our boss. He frequently expressed his attraction. My boyfriend and I split up and I left that job but did not see that coworker for a few years. When our paths crossed again, we were both committed to others so we parted ways again. We connected a few times on Facebook over the years. He was a tall, stout man and looked intimidating but was a quiet, sincere man, soft and gentle.
STORY LINE: Someone reconnects with a special friend and feels very loved.
Sitting in someone’s lap: A little girl sits in the lap of a parent as a sign of being cherished and loved, which was how dreamer felt.
Loving someone at a distance: Unrequited love; in this case actual love that was not followed through, yet a real spiritual bond.
Nuzzling an ear: Getting someone’s attention in a loving way.
Passion and gentleness: Actual feelings they had for each other.
Soul connection: Acknowledgement of a bond that survives death.
No words were spoken: When there is a deep connection between people, words are often unnecessary.
WHAT THE DREAM MEANS:
Some dreams are not dreams, they are actual experiences remembered as a dream. This man did actually visit after he died to let you know two things. Although he died, he is alive and well in the afterlife and he still cares for you. This was his way of saying hello and keeping in touch.
BOTTOM LINE: Love never dies, even unrequited love.
WILL MY BOYFRIEND GO OR STAY?
I was with my aunt and cousin in the countryside with wide open green pastures with no roads, just grass and a barn. It was getting late so I decided to head home. As I walked through the pasture, a guy out of no where comes up to me and hands me a business card. It says, "William remains."
FELT HOW: Calm as I walked home, very peaceful.
MAIN LIFE ISSUES: I've been involved with Bill for about nine months. I am in love but go back and forth, not sure whether to stay with him or leave him. I have commitment fears.
STORY LINE: Someone unexpectedly receives an answer to a question that has been on their mind.
Business card: Facts about a person.
Pasture and barn: A peaceful scene; a simple setting. In this case, represents the feelings between the dreamer and man she loves.
Aunt and cousin: Being with family and loved ones; in this case, a metaphor for feeling comfortable with loved ones, same as feelings for the man. The presence of family members hints that everyone is at peace with the man and accepts him into the family.
WHAT IT MEANS: The dream tells that Bill will stay in your life.
BOTTOM LINE: When words are spoken in a dream about a specific issue, unless the message is contradicted by the story line, they can be taken literally.
CHEATING EX BOYFRIEND: I caught my ex boyfriend sleeping with my friend's girlfriend.
MAIN LIFE ISSUES: Hard time getting over the end of that relationship.
FELT HOW: Miserable, hurt
STORY LINE: Story shows someone who cheats and betrays.
Cheating: Doing what is not right.
Ex Boyfriend: Someone you relied on; someone you wanted.
WHAT IT MEANS:
The dream sounds as if you are still emotionally holding on to your feelings about him. It is reminding you that you need to move along, to put him behind you to retain your own best emotional and psychological health. Unless you put that toxic relationship behind you, the new and wonderful can't enter your life.
BOTTOM LINE: The dream shows a reason to move along; no one wants a cheater and it shows he has not changed. It invites you to let go of the past so that you can attract a new relationship instead of staying stuck in the past.
EX GOT MARRIED:
I was at a gathering with people from my past and present including a woman who turned out not to be a true friend. I see my old boyfriend and hear him talking about how he had gotten married. I was so sad. As I look over, I see a thick gold wedding band on his finger.
He didn’t even notice me as he tells others they had gotten married and would have a party later. It seemed strange to invite people to a party but not to the wedding.
FELT HOW: Sad, scared.
MAIN LIFE ISSUES: My old boyfriend got married, but I still love him and miss him.
STORY LINE: Someone with a new commitment invites others to share in their happiness.
Wedding: A new commitment.
Party: Sharing in someone’s happiness.
WHAT IT MEANS:
The dream is a reality check that brings up the question: Why can’t you accept it is over and move on? It may be because of trauma in your past with men (e.g. not having a father or being in an abusive relationship) so that when a man leaves, it brings up that trauma and you can’t let go.
It is important to figure out what keeps you chained to a closed option. If you were let go from a job, you would not hang around the old office and pine for the old work, you’d find a new job; healthy relationships work that way. Despite pain and distress when one ends, you can’t hold on to the old; if you stay stuck in the past, which speaks of emotional and psychological imbalance in some way.
BOTTOM LINE: The dream is an invitation to move, or at least to figure out what holds you back from doing so. It is not love for him that holds you back, that one-sided love is an illusion. For your best health, figure it out and move along.
RECURRING APOLOGY BY EX BOYFRIEND—THE DREAM:
I have a dream once or twice a week that my ex tries to apologize for everything he did. How he apologizes is different in each dream but it's always to my face. Sometimes he says he still loves me; other times he just says that he is sorry.
FELT HOW: Depressed.
MAIN LIFE ISSUES: He was my first love. He cheated and tried to split me and my new partner.
STORY LINE: Someone regularly tries to excuse themselves for past behavior.
SYMBOL: Apology: Someone requests forgiveness.
WHAT IT MEANS:
At some level, your ex may be sorry for what he did; but as a recurring dream, it may hint that he is still obsessed with you, so his apologies could be self-serving to get what he wants. There is a flip side. Since it is a repeating, recurring dream, it may indicate that you need to forgive him so that you can let the past go and forget the pain he caused and move on.
BOTTOM LINE: You are not responsible for his feelings about you; your job is to work out your own feelings so that you can let go and move on. CHEATING GIRLFRIEND:
I keep dreaming that I catch my girlfriend cheating on me. Is this a way of telling me she is cheating?
FELT HOW: Upset and betrayed.
MAIN LIFE ISSUES: Finances, thinking of having another child, thinking about changing jobs.
STORY LINE: Someone catches another doing wrong and breaking a commitment.
Cheating: Not living up to one’s standards, breaking a commitment.
Girlfriend: The actual person, a close tie, or the soft, intuitive part of a man.
WHAT IT MEANS:
It is said that you pre-dream everything important that happens to you, so being cheated on is possible. On the other hand, most dreams are symbolic and are about you. The story can go be about you not keeping a commitment or about someone who does you wrong, whethr that is your girlriend, a friend, employer, or financial adviser as harm to your reputation, finances, or in career. In a man’s dream, a woman can also refer to your own soft, intuitive side that may need balance. If you are do not express your own softer side when needed, the dream can hint that you are cheating yourself by being less than who you can be.
BOTTOM LINE: Dreams refer to what is going on in your life, or in you. Only you can pinpoint whether (a) you are not honoring a commitment such as being committed to your job or career; (b) whether you are not expressing your soft side when you need to; (c) if someone around you is underhanded or (d) if someone is actually cheating on you. Look for the “aha” in self to see what rings true.
A CONTROLLING MAN:
There is a man who I think is my father. Whenever I ask him to do anything, he says no and gets very angry. I lock myself in my room and do what I want to and need to do; he starts beating on the door, screaming and threatening me.
FELT HOW: Scared.
MAIN LIFE ISSUES: Employment and a relationship.
STORY LINE: Someone is insensitive and unresponsive and reacts aggressively.
Father: Someone who generally supports, helps, understands.
Asking someone to do something: Stating one's needs, requesting attention.
Always saying "no": Not responsive to someone's needs; does value input.
Gets very angry: Out of control, overreacting.
Screaming: Forcing self on others, hearing only oneself.
Threatening someone: An aggressive reaction.
WHAT IT MEANS:
If your boyfriend is actually bad tempered and unresponsive to your needs or wishes, the dream is a warning. Such traits can escalate with time and your scared feelings in the dream may mirror the discomfort you feel in the relationship. If that’s the case, for your own safety, get out of the relationship before you lose your own empowerment and strength.
Or, if you have a boss or an employer who acts like a tyrant, the dream indicates that you feel powerless at work. However, in a work situation you have to cooperate, do your work, and be quiet until you can change jobs. Acting rebellious only brings anger and makes the work environment unpleasant for everyone.
BOTTOM LINE: Only you can know what may be true in your life. In either case, take control and move on to a better situation as you can. Meantime stay calm and do your best.